To Marry or Not: Couples Take on Marriage

MEMPHIS, Tenn. - Love and marriage still go hand-and-hand for some couples but there's no doubt, saying "I do" today means something completely different than it did decades ago. FOX 13's Melissa Scheffler takes a look at the state of marriage through the eyes of two couples.

Reginald and Davena Porter have been married longer than Michael Martin and Corrie Cross have been alive. I sat down with both couples to get their take on "marriage." I found that even though they are decades apart, they still share some similarities.

When I asked our Facebook followers to send me their "couple pictures," my wall and inbox were flooded with portraits of love. It's all proof people take pride in their commitment. Just ask newly-engaged couple Michael Martin and Corrie Cross. They're ready to "take the plunge."

"The word "marriage" was a scary word until I met Michael. That word didn't scare me any more," said Corrie.

After three years of dating, Michael asked Corrie to be his wife.

"We wanted to make sure that I like him in spring, I like him in summer, I like him in fall, I like him in winter in all seasons times three," said Corrie.

The Porters have weathered several seasons. Married for 41 years in June, Pastor Reginald Porter and Reverend Davena Porter followed the same philosophy.

They dated for two and a half years.

"I saw this tall young man walking down the aisle of this church and there was just something about him," said Davena.

The Porters were raised in Memphis and fell in love in Memphis

"That was our first interaction," said Davena.

Now, they lead the "Metropolitan Baptist Church" in South Memphis.

"I tell couples in pre-marriage counseling, that the secret to marriage is commitment," said Reginald.

The younger generation must be getting the idea.

"I think it's a commitment," said Corrie.

"It's got to be all about compromise," said Michael.

Licensed professional counselor Travis Hill agrees but the meaning of commitment hits a deeper level these days.

"In the distant past, marriage used to be about combining business, the idea of romantic love and romantic love for marriages is a fairly new concept," said Hill.

The Porters say couples today sometimes have unrealistic expectations for their marriages. They're unwilling to work it out.

"We live in a world that has already said, to young people, you don't have to put up with this," said Davena.

The reason being- in today's world someone else is always waiting for you at a click of a mouse. Match-dot-com, Facebook, and other social networks make finding "back-up plans" easy but once you click in, you can't always go back.

"In marriages, that's part of the problem anyways--there's usually a lack of trust. The technology is actually enabling the continued lack of trust," said Hill.

But, an instant connection can also ignite a spark or keep it alive.

"The way our flirtation I say started, was on MySpace--which--does that even exist any more?" said Corrie.

The Porters are catching-on to the high-tech love letter too... thanks to a social network.

"He started in the last couple of weeks." "Don't look surprised," said Davena.

There is a trend in the 21st century that doesn't intimidate the Porters- love birds waiting later in life to tie the knot.

"I think people are coming back to the point, when you finish at the end of the day, you want someone to come home to and to share your tiredness with and make it go away... just because they're there,” said Davena.

At the age of 32, Michael is happy he waited.

"The older you get, you realize, you can't go through life alone. You need to find a partner. You need to settle down,” said Michael.

Settling down.

Tying the knot.

It's not just about living together.

“An un-married couple doesn't have that tie or that bond. The married couple has more to lose," said Hill.

Pastor Porter says "shacking up" is just glorified dating.

"Marriage is permanent. Living together is not," said Reginald.

Our married couple doesn't recommend it.

"When we're dating, we put up with some things. But we always have in the back of our minds, if this doesn't work we can walk," said Reginald.

But now-a-days, many couples are willing to leap into marriage.

Corrie and Michael will say "I do" in October and they're not looking back- maybe only to laugh at what they thought marriage really meant.

"I'm probably going to think 30 years from now--boy, I just didn't have a clue," said Michael.

Our married couple, newly-engaged couple, and counselor all recommended pre-marital counseling.

The Porters also said, they include a third party in their marriage- God.